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“A masterpiece—clear, insightful, and practical.”—William Ury, coauthor of Getting to Yes
Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro introduces a groundbreaking method for resolving the most difficult of conflicts—from the political, to the professional, to the personal
As the shockwaves of the 2016 political cycle continue to reverberate, cooperation and reconciliation feel farther away now than ever—but there is a path forward. In Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, Daniel Shapiro introduces a powerful new approach for resolving conflict—one that goes beneath rationality to address the underlying emotional dynamics. Drawing on cutting edge advances in psychology and conflict resolution, he illuminates the five hidden forces that lure us toward impasse despite our better instincts, and presents a practical method to overcome them. The paperback edition of this landmark book is updated with practical material to help you apply the method to your own most difficult relations, especially in these turbulent times.
- Sales Rank: #46307 in Books
- Brand: PENGUIN
- Published on: 2017-03-07
- Released on: 2017-03-07
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .70" w x 5.40" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 352 pages
Features
Review
“Quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict.”
—Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group
“Brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds.”
—Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence
“Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us. . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen.”
—Forbes
“Daniel Shapiro gives you the tools to transform yourself.”
—Rick Kleffel (KQED), Rainbow Light blog
“I have recommended Shapiro’s book more than any other book I have read in quite some time.”
—PsychCentral
“A blueprint for successful negotiation.”
—Booklist
“Appealing to rationality isn’t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict’s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he’s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions.”
—Business Insider
“A masterpiece—clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended!”
—William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself
“A must-read! Dan Shapiro’s Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life.”
—Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School
“Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time.”
—Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University
“With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable—a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them.”
—Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion
“Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era.”
—Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See
“A life-changing book! If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.”
—Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College
“A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it.”
—Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments
“Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike."
—Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace
“Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table.”
—David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government
About the Author
Daniel L. Shapiro is a world renowned expert on the psychology of conflict resolution. Named one of Harvard’s top 15 professors by The Harvard Crimson, he founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program and regularly advises everyone from hostage negotiators to families in crisis, disputing CEOs to clashing heads of state.
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
What a masterful job he has done to blend day to day stories with great ideas I loved hearing about Dan navigating through the .
By Susan M. Dole
After years as a labor negotiator and attorney wife,,mother and grandmother, I never realized before reading this book how powerful the emotional component is in getting a successful resolution to conflicts. I find this book hits the nail on the head by focusing on the "whys" rather than the" how to" win consensus. Dan Shapiro takes what we know instinctively and turns one's attention to what tools we need to move a conflict into a resolution. What a masterful job he has done to blend day to day stories with great ideas I loved hearing about Dan navigating through the jungle of identities we all have, at home and at work, with those we love and those we don't.And who knew that we are part of a tribe or that the tribal experiences can be multifaceted and everchanging.depending on the context--work, home,and even at the hockey rink?. Blending humor and history, Dan's book should be read by everyone in the kitchen, the board room, and even the White House!
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Read this Book and Resolve Your most Emotionally Charged Conflicts
By Jean claude M. Abeck
As founder and director of the Harvard International Negotiation Program, Dan Shapiro brings to bare a practical approach to conflict resolution in this master piece. One that is based on a wide array of experiences at all levels of society, from his personal life to the community level (NYPD) and from the State to international level (Israeli-Palestinian). After watching the Marrakesh incident on BBC’s The World Debate in an episode titled “Are the Right People Talking?” in which he served as challenger between the Israeli and Palestinian business and political leaders, I am fascinated by his deep experiences with emotionally charged conflicts. Something that he explores with practical examples, suited for students, professionals, spouses, teachers, diplomats… etc.
The simplicity with which Prof. Dan handles a complex subject of “me versus you, us versus them” mindset, one that is typical in emotionally charged conflicts, is truly appealing to me as student. He uses the concept of the “Tribes Effect” (mindset that pits your identity against that of the other side) to illustrate how easily it is for people to be drawn into conflicts, be it siblings, spouses, business professionals, diplomats and even experts in conflict resolution. This is exemplified in the Davos experiment in which we see the world explode out of frustration.
Professor Dan focuses on “five lures of the tribal mind”, crucial factors that parties to conflicts and even negotiators often ignore or mismanage. If there is one thing that I recommend to all those interested in resolving conflicts that transcend unity, it is for them to read through these five factors – vertigo, Repetition compulsion, Taboos, Assault on the sacred and Identity politics. This book not only tells us how these factors escalate conflicts but also provide practical steps on how to navigate and overcome them.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A truly essential guide on conflict resolution
By Mike F
As a corporate executive, I’ve read a lot of books on conflict resolution, but I'd have to say that this one is truly powerful and different. Shapiro presents a totally new set of tools to help you resolve conflict, and they work. Case in point: Check out the chapters on vertigo, taboos, and mythos of identity– fascinating, new, and extremely useful.
Instead of giving you a bag of “tricks,” Shapiro gets to the core of what makes relationships work – and he provides a concrete roadmap to help you resolve your toughest relationships. This book should truly be required reading for anyone who negotiates on a regular basis. 100% recommended.
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